I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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