Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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