Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
