so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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