So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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