I feel great
I just peed on a car
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
