You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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