Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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