Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
