Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
