I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
