Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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