I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
