you traded sex for a burrito?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
God, I missed his penis.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
