i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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