I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
