So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
