i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
