Only a mothe r could love this liver
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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