Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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