Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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