I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
