Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
