Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
