that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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