He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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