I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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