Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
