dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
