Betty ford says i'm here all night
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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