i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
