This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
