More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
