and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think my moral compass just broke
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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