Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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