So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
