I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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