It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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