look no pants
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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