i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
