Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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