i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize