What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
