There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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