I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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