all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
