New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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