Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
