So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
