yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
